Pain Is the Equalizer – August 03 2008 0600 by Lisa

Tags -- Blog Update, Stubby

Stubby tried to fuck me last night – he even gave me my favorite – his long fat cock up my ass.

I do not know how or why my brain got wired wrong but he tells me and I cane confirm that I come much better when I am fucked up the ass.

He tried but moving his hips was causing him great pain. I know because I gave him morphine an hour before – it seemed like he never got it.

I knew it was time to get back to the hospital. They took him straight to X-ray but found nothing. They sent him for a MRI and we are waiting for the results.

They also put him on a morphine pump. The poor nurse could not get an IV started – Stubby asked that I be allowed to try.

I did it one stick – don’t like to cause him any more pain then needed. The morphine has knocked him out.

Once in a while he comes to and hits the button – it always ‘sounds’ like it pumps but I have noticed that quantity injected displayed on the side of the pump away from the patient has not changed a couple of times.

I do not like to fool anyone but I like this setup – the brain ‘thinks’ it got more juice and reacts appropriately. Good deal.

I’ve caught up on the blog – Red is having the same problem Cindy had, and Jennifer and even Dani at one time.

I think she is finally getting what she needs and always afraid to ask for. Now she is feeling guilty and confused. She just needs a few more times and maybe a couple of orgies to get into the rhythm.

I want to ask if she is hurting anyone – if not, then fuck it. But I am not sure that is the right thing anymore.

Besides I have my own problems.

I think Stubby is falling in love with me – I really, really, really, like him but I do not think it is love.

But it is more than lust – I have never worried so much about any person before. He even outweighs Moms and Pops at the moment. I did not think that could ever happen.

Stubby was looking over my shoulder as I was paying the family bills. He commandeered my mouse pad and clicked on an account called extra. When he looked through it he asked how many bills I had paid out of my salary.

When he tried to move down I closed the laptop on his hand. He did exactly as I would expect of someone loyal to Pops. He told him and Pops had someone at corporate review the accounts and I got yelled at.

I got yelled at becasue I was just letting my salary sit in a non-interest bearing account for so long.

They also opened a retirement account as part of my benefits and put all the money I had used for family stuff into it and then matched it and then added another 10% of my salary as a start to my retirement fund.

I also have some crazy new account system. My checks are auto deposited into an investment account but if my debit account is below a certain level it is replenished.

If I want to make a major purchase I have to call ahead and they tell me how to pay. I feel like I have lost control but at the same time I had not realized how much I lost in 6 months.

The odd thing is I never got mad at Stubby for giving me up. I felt it was his right – anything he asks for I do – even if I know better.

So Red, why am I doing this? I don’t feel guilty but I do feel like I am out of control and doing something I will regret in the future.

Maybe it is nothing more than us being the same type of person. Or maybe we don’t like drastic change or maybe we are really fucked up – anyone want to comment?