Motherhood = Stress – August 05 2008 1840 by Dani

Tags -- DaniUpdate

Yea, as soon as Red got here and everything settled down I felt the tension ease – I had been on high alert since Fish got here.

I was on higher alert when I realized I knew nothing about Skippy – and even less about child proofing anything.

And all I had to do was forget about getting my IUD checked on a regular basis and I could become a mother so fast – and not have one fucking clue.

Maybe some of it comes naturally and maybe you feel different when it is your own – but this simply scares me to death.

When Adam called I blurted out, “How many kids do you want?” He too wondered if I was trying to tell him something.

I laughed and said never mind – I had baby sat this afternoon and I wondered how I would ever make it as a mother.

He laughed and said he only wanted 10 kids – no girls. I told him to fuck off and hung up on him. That was a while ago - he has not called back.

He’ll get over it. Hope he didn’t need anything important.

I have not heard from Lisa or Pops – I do not know if that is a good thing or bad thing.

We had storms come though – it was very strange to be here alone. I do not think I have ever been here alone – in almost ten years – someone was always here.

I told Fire to stay in town – I would be fine. I locked the place up and made sure I had spare shells. I even checked the perimeter alarm to make sure it was working.

I do not feel afraid – just anxious. I tried to call Pops but cell phones are not allowed near the electronics – they even have to surrender them at the nurse’s station.

I don’t know about the laptops – Pops did tell me he needed to charge his battery before he could use it.

So I need dinner and I’ll find someone to chat with – unless Adam will call be back.