Blog Update 8/5/2008 1205 by Dani

Tags -- DaniUpdate, Laughs

We are going to grill hamburgers and hot dogs for lunch, baked beans, potato salad and green beans for lunch.

Yes, I have four teenagers and ONE baby to take care of. Red was needed at work for a couple of hours – she wanted B to watch Fish but of course she was busy cleaning the pool/watching the pool boys (who are quite nice I must say – in more ways than 1).

Fish is easy to watch – just put up barriers – put him down and check on him. He will also cling to your leg – he is almost ready to walk and loves to pull himself up.

I had to baby proof the computer room but of course he wants the great room so I checked it over.

I was trying to figure out a way to child proof it – I finally got down on my hands and knees with him - Much easier. I sent Pops a test message telling him he needed to child proof this entire cabin.

He wanted to know if the rabbit has died (HUH? – Moms told me) or if there was a hidden message I was trying to send

I teased him - what did he think the hidden message was? I was laughing so bad that Fish kept giving me funny looks.

I finally took a picture of Fish and sent it to his phone. He cannot believe I am babysitting – anything to get out of work he says.

When B came in to ask if she could invite the boys to lunch I asked her several questions. Was he cute? Yes! Did he treat her nice? Yes! Was he too old? No! Does he have a nice butt? Dani! Does he have a nice butt? Awesome! Does he have a nice package? I did not look. Does he have a nice package? How do I know? Does he have a nice package? It looks ok. Nice and big? Dani stop it.

And she ran outside I asked if anyone knew how to start the grill. The older boy took care of it.

I made Mom’s quickie potato salad and cooked some beans in the microwave with B and NB’s help – I told them to take credit for them – boys like girls who can cook. NB said they also like girls with boobs.

I told her to be patient and wear clothes that made her ‘look’ like she had boobs – I’d show her later.

I got the patties out, defrosted them and showed the boys how to rub them with Pops hamburger rub. Damn that rub makes them good. I told the boys to cook the meat well but leave a little pink in the middle.

They were both good at the grill. But when we sat down I did not know what to feed Fish – B said he’ll eat off our plates – he loved the potato salad.

The girls asked where the pop was – I always called it soda. When I said bar all of them had to go. I put Fish my hip and followed them. Very few of us ever drink soda except with whiskey – and most of the time we forget the coke.

As they eyed the good stuff I pointed out the camera that runs 24 hours per day. The oldest did not believe me – I took them to the computer room and showed them the recorded video of us getting soda and then I backed it up to last night. I convinced them.

Since I felt like a mom I also showed them the surveillance camera for the pool and surroundings. I just happened to pick a point where B and the oldest were kissing – on the first fucking date no less.

I told her she was grounded for 15 minutes as soon as we finished eating. She was NOT happy.

When we got done eating I made them help clean up and made B stay inside. I asked here to help me make sure I was putting the diaper on Fish.

She taught me then I asked if she knew why I had grounded her. She said no. I said to cover my ass – if her mother found out she might think I was a bad influence.

And if she didn’t like the way he kissed –she had a reason not to. If she did like it, she could suggest they sneak away and find some privacy.

I also told her that if she told anyone about this conversation I would stick something up her ass.

She laughed – I went to the monitor and saw them disappear behind the cabana. I clicked on the outside speakers and told them all – Hands on OUTSIDE of clothing ONLY!

I laughed and laughed until Fish grabbed a cushion that was not secure and it ended up on top of him on the floor.

The THUMP told me he hit his head – if he did he must have hit his funny bone too – he was laughing when I pulled if off of him.

You know, this mother stuff is kind of fun.