The War Is Over – Sep 6 2008 750 by Dani

Tags -- kids, Laughs, Liz, Stubby

After spending the night on a very cold boat, being too cold to drink whiskey and their balls disappearing into their bodies, the ‘ole guys’ have surrendered.

They are currently sitting in front of a roaring fire in the great room wrapped in blankets and drinking plain coffee. They don’t want whiskey.

Several of us girls offered to ‘warm’ them up but Stubby said his balls are so far up in his body he doubts they will descend before next spring.

Pops and Captain agreed but it might be the year after. Mom said Pops had never turned her down before. She even tired some of her best moves.

The ‘kids’ came down and gave them all hugs. Stubby asked if we knew we had a traitor in our midst. Huh?

Liz and B had taken the last watch before the classmates woke up. Stubby begged for a smoke – he has almost stopped. Liz disappeared and showed back up lowering the gangplank. She told B to nail him if he made a bad move.

She told Stubby he could have a smoke if she could have one too. Stubby said no. Liz lit a cigarette and said too bad she was having one anyway. Stubby caved when he smelled the smoke.

Liz told B to go to bed after making her father promise to behave. Stubby said they smoked three more cigarettes and he went back to the freezer.

Shortly after, the classmates took over guard duty. Cgs said they did not hear a peep except when Captain stubbed his toe while trying to pee over the side real early in the morning.

Moms and Lisa went out at 6 am and negotiated their surrender. They have said very little – in fact, I think I saw Pops teeth chattering.

Stubby made the comment that he had warned them. The ‘kids’ were smarter then all of them put together.

Pops and Captain agreed. Moms made them a big breakfast but they still refused hot toddies.

After breakfast they all went outside wrapped like ole guys that can never get warm.

Stubby asked Liz to follow and they all lit a cigarette. Liz smoked like she had been doing it for years.

Most of us girls were NOT happy but Moms said it was none of our business.

When she came in to re-fill the guys coffee cups Momtoo grabbed her chin and said she was not her mother but she was very disappointed and if she ever smoked in front of her again, she would stuff the lit cigarette up her ass. Then she walked away.

Liz ran after her begging to speak. They went into the kitchen and came out together.

Liz went back out and lit another cigarette. Momtoo watched for a minute then cursed.

Mom asked what and Momtoo told us to watch her carefully. None of us saw it. Momtoo said she was going to guilt her father into quitting. She is not inhaling even though it sure looked like it. She had tried one of her mother’s when she was twelve and hated it so much.

Last night was the second time she had smoked and she got up four times during the night to use mouth wash to get rid of the taste.

Momtoo told us to remind her she owed Liz a two hour trip to the mall to buy her whatever she wanted. B and gB asked what they could do to get the same treatment. Momtoo told them to grow up to be just like Liz and she went upstairs.

Liz looked in and winked when her dad put his cigarette out half smoked.

Summer and Annie went out to the boat at 615 to put all the keys back in place. Summer told us it would not take long, she had a good memory.

After they left Captain said it would take at least an hour. Two hours later Pops said they were probably trying out every bed in the place.

When they came back in Summer told us to kick her ass if she ever did anything so stupid again.

Captain held out his hand and asked if she knew what lock numbers were. No and he pointed out the little numbers on the keys she could not find locks for and said she would find the same numbers on the locks.

She grabbed all the keys and went back out. She was back in five minutes telling Captain if he ever withheld info from her again he would be searching his colon for pieces of his penis for years.

The kids all laughed and said, “OOOHHH”. It was funny, She kissed and thanked him for not getting mad at her. He told her she could make it up to him later.

She reminded him of pieces and colon which got another “oooohhhh” from the kids.

The ‘ole guys’ told us they were going to bed until tomorrow.

The classmates just headed for home – they have to work tonight. We wondered about Davis but he is in CA at a meeting for the weekend.

The rest of us are going shopping. On the ‘ole guys’.