B Is Worse Then Me – August 10 2008 1025 by Dani

Tags -- Blog Update, Laughs

B is growing up very quickly and is pushing the boundaries – actually she just moves them out of her way.

Shortly before ten, while Red and the girls cleaned up the breakfast mess, B was asking Red about her new restrictions. Essentially, if B wants to kiss whatever boy she is flirting with, she can. Just don’t go out behind a building to hide the activity.

B asked about touching – Red said same thing BUT hands must be outside the clothing. Red also suggested it is a little early in her life to be touching.

B pointed out that three of the girls in her class had already had babies. B assured then promised her Mom it would not happen to her. Before anyone put his penis in her baby maker she would come to her for birth control.

Red thanked her and told me she had a good girl. Then B asked about oral sex – was that OK?

I heard Pops drop something and Red did – a pan she was drying. I tried not to laugh but it was impossible. I heard very soft footsteps behind me. I didn’t even bother to look. After a bit I could hear two old people trying to breathe.

Red told her to figure it out based on the current rules. B thought about it and said the only thing she could think of was hands outside the clothes.

Red said she was right but what B said next floored us all.

She said that one of the older girls said her boyfriend loved it when she put her hands in her back pockets and just used her mouth on his penis. She never touched him – B thought that was better then touching a penis.

The two old guys behind me – well, at first I thought they were having strokes. As it turned out they were trying not to laugh and doing a very poor job of it.

Red was having a stroke – B asked her mother if that was true – then she asked me. Pops and Captain ended up on the floor laughing so hard I knew a stroke was coming.

NB asked what was so funny – then her mother asked NB if she knew what oral sex was. NB said sure, the boy uses a girl’s mouth instead of her cabina – vacina - vabina she offered.

Red almost fell down – I helped her to a chair - Pops and Captain left quickly.

NB asked her Mom what was wrong. I started to explain and Red touched my arm and shook her head no and pointed at B.

B started laughing – Pops and Captain came back in. They were not sure what to do until B said, “Gotcha” to her mother. Pops and Captain were beside themselves.

B was laughing so hard at the look on her mother’s face she could not speak. NB asked what a vabina was and everyone in the room burst out laughing.

RED stood up, grabbed her younger daughter by the face and kissed her while telling her it was nothing – B had played a trick on her. NB asked what a BJ was – her mother said she did not know and gave B a look that would have killed me.

Everyone else was laughing his or her butts off. I could tell that Red was not quite sure what to do.

Pops told Red the way she felt right now was exactly the way he felt last night. Red turned toward her oldest daughter and said she was grounded for life.

Everyone laughed when she stuck her tongue out. B told us that she had dreamed that routine up last night to screw with Pops until he lost it.

Red said she was going to lose something and B ran out the door. We’ve had a good time today.