Merry Christmas To ALL
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It is 525 AM here on the beach, 75 degrees with a nice breeze from the east. Humidity is 80 some percent and does it feel GOOD!!
The above paragraph was for all my friends who bitched when I commented about the beautiful weather we were experiencing. They are all a bunch of fucking pansies – afraid to travel during the Xmas season.
We both have the same problem – keeping the sand off the floor – our sand is from the beach and their sand is from the ice covered streets and walks.
I’m on the patio enjoying a wonderful hot toddy and fresh warm buttermilk biscuits while I type the drivel that makes up my life.
Dani and the Moms made it home about 6 PM last night. They had over three hundred purchases containing what I refer to as knick-knacks. I’m glad we are the only guests, otherwise a single porter would have needed eight or nine hours to bring all the packages up.
At least that was my initial thought but when they handed me a 1 terabyte external hard drive and the receipt I asked how many they bought.
They did not let me down.
They had discovered a group of factory outlets stores that were going out of business. I have noticed there are several empty shops all over the island.
The resort manager told me most businesses were barely surviving in a good economy. He told me if he continued to lose money into April he also would close.
For the hell of it I asked how much a place like this would go for in the current market.
I was very surprised and am going to talk to all my business partners. It seems to me that the real estate market on these islands needs to be investigated.
But then again I know almost nothing about real estate or economics (except it sure is shitty) so I may be full of shit.
Last night at 9PM local, 7 PM back at home, we fired up the computers and web cams and enjoyed Christmas with everyone we left behind.
Captain, William and Jeni, Cindy and Denny, BBS and DenI, the classmates and Davis and Henry and his family including the very uncomfortable pregnant Debby.
When I told her only four months to go she told me to FO and said she hoped they were preemies. She got yelled at by every female. The guys knew to shut up.
Cheese and Lucy were supposed to stop by but Cheese was busy corralling some runaway barges - one had a hundred foot crane on it and was heading for a bridge.
Jim and Kim were supposed to join us on the island but could not get out of Chicago – luckily they have family in a suburb and are enjoying themselves but not the bad weather.
Jim bitched he did NOT want to shovel snow – that’s why he was going to the tropics. Plus he wanted to lay around and watch all the naked girls (he has never been here).
Their grandparents were supposed to travel to California for the first time to see their great grandchildren but they too are stuck at home with all the snow.
Everyone opened their gifts. We thought we had a box missing for the teens but Lisa found it right where Mom had hidden it.
Fish and his grandparents were supposed to join them at the cabin but their street is still a sheet of ice so we had them on a speaker phone.
Stubby demonstrated Liz’s new remote control for her car stereo in a video he had made. I had not seen it before but Stubby had put her car on a barge and then made it look like he drove it off into the river while he was distracted by the remote.
He and Lisa had edited it perfectly. Liz made Captain take a camera to the garage to see her car. Someone had draped it with what looked like seaweed and dead branches and even dead fishes, snakes and frogs.
Over the low res web cam it looked great. Liz was almost in tears until Captain pulled the plastic off and her intact car was under it. He told her it cleaned up real good then he opened her driver’s door and a large amount of muddy water spilled out.
He told her he was sure the inside would be dried out by the time she got back. She screamed.
Stubby said it took him several days to get everything right.
Then Captain disappeared after setting up the high res video on a tripod on the top deck. He said he was going to show us the decorations that had got damaged but then I guess Davis focused on the dock.
Our boat, fully decorated from bow to stern was just starting to move down river. Captain had done one amazing job. I think there were more lights on the boat then the rest of the joint. My phone rang – it was Captain making sure we could see OK.
Moms were totally amazed and made him promise to leave it until they got home.
Then Davis asked if the surprise had arrived. When we said not yet he made a phone call. He told me it was thirty minutes out.
We decided to say online if we could. Davis read a Christmas story he had found online. I was half listening as I backed up Momtoo’s computer to my new external hard drive.
Then Dani handed me another package. She said when she saw it she thought of me. It was a remote control battery operated Corvette Stingray. It looked just like the one I have at home in the garage.
She told me she had already charged the batteries. I forgot all about computers and the coming surprise and was tooling around the resort following my new toy.
Then I heard a familiar voice and found Adam, Bruce and Mr. Nerd at the check-in. They all took turns driving my new car and then I showed them where to change into swim trunks.
They were so white the staff laughed at them even though they knew it was not polite. The guys just laughed with them.
We went back to the room. My new car was almost totaled when the elevator doors tried to crush it. Thanks to Bruce’s quick action pushing buttons it was saved.
When I walked back into the room, Davis was finishing telling the teens about his first Christmas ghost. I’ll have to get him to repeat it.
Then Liz saw her man and freaked out. She was not prepared to let her ass hang out when her man was around. She looked for a wrap but ended up with a towel.
When Dani and Erin saw Adam and Bruce the surprise was complete.
Both boys had not returned the girls calls for about a week. The girls knew the guys had been at a conference where 99% of the participates were horny nurses according to the guys.
The surprise was complete. I was the only one that knew except I did ask Stubby if it was OK to invite Mr. Nerd. He told me it was fine.
I noticed when I was about to sit that Liz and Mr. Nerd are laying together on a lounge chair. Liz’s butt is uncovered except for where Mr. Nerd has his hand.
Lucky dog.
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