Blog Update – June 12, 2008

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Today is a very sad day – about five hours ago my Grandmother moved on to her fun and games as she called death. She had another two or three strokes in the last 24 hours and she finally allowed her doctor to tell her family she had a tumor in her brain. There was nothing they could do. As Grandma said, she’s had more fun then most 80 year old virgins and it was time to move on.

She got her best friend in the world into the ground and now she was tired and it was her turn.

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Moms got to the hospital about noon today. Mom and her mom talked for hours. And then I was given a letter that Grandma had written almost 10 years ago when I bitched about her giving me a lame birthday present.

When I read it I laughed and cried – felt proud and ashamed and realized that too many times in my life I had failed to get to know those people really close to me.

I did it with Pops and with momtoo and now I’ll be damned if I have not done it with Grannie. One of these days I will learn.

Two wonderful things happened today that I hope I will never forget. First, no matter what the situation, family and friends always come first. Second, never forget your family and friends and you’ll never need anything or anyone else.

Grannie’s nurse called two emergency numbers that Grannie had given her the first day she moved in. Grannie was still thinking to the end – I bet she could have lasted several more years – she just hated being a burden. Pops got Moms at noon at the airport. Everyone else, Annie, BBs, Lisa, DenI, Jeni, William, Cindy, Captain and yes, even Stubby arrived about three.

Cheese and his wife got here with many of the river people about 4. By 6 there were over 100 people here to say goodbye. Many of them may have only met her once but she was something else. She spent the last three or four summers at the cabin full time and made lots of friends.

At 1002 pm after she had said hi (and bye) to everyone she typed with one hand to mom that it did not hurt any more and that she loved her.

At 1003 the doctor declared her dead. At 1004 a stranger that I vaguely remembered from years ago came up to me and shook my hand and asked me to read a letter. He was Grandma’s lawyer and the letter informed me that since I had been so disappointed in my Grandmother on my 12th birthday, Grandma did not want me to be disappointed again so I was in charge of everything.

And she meant Everything. The only thing I don’t get to decide is if I should put her dildo in the casket with her. She actually wants two.

The doctor was going to give mom a sedative when she laughed out loud and could not stop laughing five minutes after her mother died.

As it turns out, the lawyer has lots of good ideas he has picked up along the way. Mom has a couple of good ideas and one of Grannie’s closest friends is the best planner I have ever seen.

We’ll have visitation Sat, and then get her home to the farm she was born in Indiana (if it has not floated away) and bury her on Tuesday.

We didn’t know it but Stubby and Grannie talked on the phone at least twice a week for the last three years. She was sitting on the deck at the cabin during a bad storm when Stubby told her she scared him – he thought his mother had come back.

Grannie said they were both so drunk they both thought they had dreams. From then on they would talk on the phone and get drunk together. She gave Stubby GrandPa’s river water recipe and he made several gallons for her.

He rode his trike (which has not been licensed for years) on the back roads and delivered it to her late one night (60 miles away). Skippy did not want to leave and Grannie fell in love with the dog. They repeated the trip several times over the years. Grannie even left instructions to make sure Skippy gets at least two bones a week for the rest of his life. Stubby said every Friday and Tuesday the mailman always came to the boathouse to deliver the mail. Those were the days Skippy got his bones and Stubby got his mason jars back.

This time Grannie held her hand out when it was just Pops, Captain, William, Stubby and I. He gave her a flask and I grabbed a stack of medicine cups and we had one last toast to Grandpa. Then we toasted mutual friends and the Sun God.

Then Grannie made a sign or signal and Stubby filled all our cups and then held his up. Grannie made the sign again and we all touched cups and drank. Then a nurse came in and the flask disappeared.

Later, much later, I asked Stubby what the sign was and he told me we had toasted death. What a toast. I still get chills to think about it.

William took Stubby home – Deni rode with him. Moms and I made it home but we had to ride standing up in the back of a grain truck. All roads to the main house are flooded. Lisa came with us and the rest went to William’s place.

BBs was probably closest to Grannie since she only lived two blocks away. She’ll get her burial clothes and deliver them in the morning then we’ll all meet for lunch and make sure the plans are complete.

So we’ll be back when this is all done. It has not hit me yet. Pops just handed me my first normal drink of the night but as soon as I post this I am going to sleep.

Mom and I figure she has already won a big pot at the black jack tables and momtoo figures she has already fucked the pit boss at least once. God we are terrible – but look where we got it from.

Later when we are done crying.