I could use the same description for Saturday or Sunday and probably tomorrow – a wonderful and beautiful day. The weather was perfect which made the wedding perfect and the reception even better then the wedding.
The girls were all perfect thanks to the classmates and Red’s efforts and makeup expertise.
Davis and several of his employees provided anything needed – they ran errands, one of the computer nerds fixed and rigged extra video cameras, one filled in as a bartender, another acted as an usher when Jeni’s cousin was too drunk.
Cheese and his crew kept the grounds clean, the tubs full of ice and beer and made sure no one crashed the party.
G’s brother and his people served over three hundred people a perfect lunch and then gave us a five course gourmet dinner complete with the right three wines and two-part salad dressing that made your mouth come (according to Lisa).
BBs broke a heel on her shoes and Captain made her a new one, glued it and painted in within 10 minutes of walking the isle.
All the flowers opened right on schedule and the florist even came back early Saturday to decorate the boat, boathouse and tops decks properly. It was beautiful.
The country band could play just about anything requested including a polka and a ballad by Gary Moore - blues, jazz, rag time and even a song for gB that none of the rest of us knew or had ever heard. Pops even requested a Steve Miller tune and they did a respectable job.
Pops has already hired them for New Years, the April birthday party and the next Fall ‘do’.
Madam W asked if they knew an Ella Fitzgerald song. She played it on the piano – she is really good – and they practiced quietly for a few minutes but Madam W’s voice was not up for it. She attempted to teach it to B, who has a great voice but B would not do it in public.
Madam W told us to wait until the next time – she would get her ready.
So we had a perfect weekend – nothing went wrong – nothing. We even had a perfect moon each evening.
I hung out with the teens almost all weekend. I did not get drunk until late Saturday night after the teens went to bed.
Adam gave me several shots because he wanted ‘an easy girl’ that night. This easy girl got what she wanted – it was nice and hard and lasted long time.
I saw Liz and Adam talking before he left Sunday afternoon. All he will tell me is that I have a surprise coming. Liz had no idea what I was talking about.
The teens and I took William and Jeni to the airport for the honeymoon flight. They took a personal jet and will not tell anyone where they are going. His office has an emergency number IF his secretary thinks we need it.
On the way back B asked why they were going on a honeymoon when they definitely were not virgins. I left it to Liz to explain.
The wedding lasted all of thirty minutes and is exactly the way I want to be married. Cindy wished she had done it and Pops told her to pick a date – Moms had so much fun he was sure they would do it again.
Then Pops surprised Cindy and Denny – he asked them to live at the big house this winter since it looked like we were spending the entire winter at the cabin.
Cindy and Denny have been living in Annie’s old bedroom at the farm while waiting for Annie’s parents’ new house to be completed. But it had been delayed by the weather, then floods and now by the harvest and more then likely the economy.
Cindy and Denny were extremely happy to have a place of their own. Plus it meant they could have guests like Annie and Summer or me and the teens or whoever. Pops can be pretty smart at times.
Moms told them they would help decorate for Xmas – they have a special way to do it. No problem, Cindy would love that.
Now I know Cindy and Denny very seldom read this blog and if you do read this – STOP RIGHT NOW and go to a different story.
I overheard Pops and Denny and Cindy’s parents talking about renting or buying the big house.
I heard Pops tell them that if Denny would farm all the acreage and maintain the place plus let the family use it once in a while, he was sure they could work out a good sale or lease price for the house.
The only obstacle was Moms but they had been talking about remodeling the cabin. Pops is pretty sure we would be here year round.
So lots of changes possible in the near future. I did tell you that Cindy is pregnant? Everyone is excited.
Madam W surprised William and Jeni with an all expensed paid weekend in Hawaii. Jeni said it was too much. Madam W blew them off saying she had not had this much fun since she snuck out of her parents to get drunk and lost her cherry instead.
She said, “Why I would have paid thousands of dollars to be able to act with Blackmama that evening – best fucking time I ever had.”
Momtoo asked Blackmama to write a skit either about that night or make up something new. She wanted to surprise Madam W. Blackmama knew to come to the teens and they schemed all afternoon. I cannot wait.
So tomorrow is a holiday but most people have already returned home, Jeni’s immediate family is still here. It seems her father is changing careers and is opening a new territory for William’s company back home.
DenI is showing him the ropes here for the next two weeks. His family decided to stay with him.
So all is well in Dani’s World – that’s what the teens starting calling it after Madam W named it. I am the Princess of Dani World – Fire, G, Summer, Red, and Blackmama are my court dignitaries and the teens are my court.
We made Madam W the Court Jester. She accepted by telling a really dirty joke – it was perfect. Even gB got it and Liz had to ask gB a question – not really but she is a good actress too.
I don’t have anything else to say – I did just give a really big sigh of relief – it is perfect.
Posts for Monday, October 13, 2008 (index)
A Wonderful, Beautiful Day – Oct 13 2008 – 0045 by Dani
Posted at 1:27 AM
Posts for Saturday, October 11, 2008 (index)
The Madam W and Blackmama Show – Oct 11 2008 by Dani
Posted at 8:02 PMFire, G and Blackmama came out yesterday to help out and came today for the wedding/reception/party.
Fire and G came stag but together. The cutest pairing was Blackmama and Madam W. Blackmama invited her when Madam W said it had been a long time since she had been to a wedding or a party.
Fire gave me a signal from far away to get my ass over there and listen. I had such a hard time keeping myself from laughing.
When Madam W was introduced to a stuck up village socialite snob that thinks she is the best there is, Madam W introduced Blackmama as her attendant.
Mrs. Walter, as she likes to be called (stuffy old cow), asked how Madam W found her attendant and wondered if they were hard to train.
Madam W said her great-great-great-grandmother had deeded Blackmama’s whole family to her a hundred years ago. Her father was her houseman, her mother the cook, her sister was her personal bath attendant and her brother was her chauffeur.
[Side note: Does anyone know what a chauffer (missing u) is? Answer: A table stove or small furnace, usually a cylindrical box of sheet iron, with a grate at the bottom, and an open top. Sometimes I can not speell so Google comes to the rescue but not always.]
Afterwards Madam W apologized for having fun but Blackmama said it was the greatest experience she ever had. She told us she had never acted before and had whispered to Madam W for guidelines. Madam W came up with most of it.
A few times when Mrs. Walters asked something Blackmama would lean over to Madam W and get a quick explanation of what the words meant. She did it like no one was watching – it was great.
Madam W asked for a ‘pick-me-up’ and Blackmama disappeared and returned with a pill and a glass of whiskey.
Madam W did not hesitate, she swallowed them both, coughed hard and thanked her.
Mrs. Walter ordered Blackmama to get her the same thing, referring to Blackmama as ‘you’. Madam W warned her that Blackmama did not always take orders from others.
Mrs. Walter let it be known that she better take orders or she would be sure to do something about it. Typical Mrs. Stupid old cow response.
Blackmama returned with a pill and a glass that I knew did not contain whiskey. It looked liked warm pee – I hoped not.
Mrs. Walter swallowed the pill and glass of liquid and started choking just like Madam W. Her face turned white but after a few minutes she seemed to recover.
Madam W spoke with Fire and I about all her buildings and Mrs. Walter could not contain herself trying to outdo us.
I finally asked Mrs. Walter the number and value of the properties she owned. When she answered five and half a million, Blackmama commented to Madam W it was not very much.
Mrs. Walter wanted her punished immediately for being so uppity.
Madam W asked whatever for.
Fire and I both had to turn away. Blackmama leaned towards Madam W and wondered how this indigent person had been invited to such a grand affair. Keep in mind this was the rehersal dinner last afternoon/evening, not the weeding.
Madam W said she would find out and left telling Blackmama to keep her seat warm. Blackmama put a napkin on the chair but just hovered over it – she did not make contact. The gleam in her eye made Fire laugh.
Mrs. Walter was not happy – she wanted to know how many properties Madam W had. G, using her sweet fuck you voice told her that to join our club you must have at minimum twenty properties and a net worth of at least twenty million.
Mrs. Walter asked who was in the club and we all raised our hands, even the teens. About twelve of us had gathered to watch Blackmama’s performance.
Mrs. Walters seemed to shrink realizing she was way out of her league but she still had her nose way up in the air.
Madam W came back, Blackmama removed the napkin and pretended to polish the seat and helped Madam W sit.
Madam W said that Pops apologized to them all - he does not know how she got past his security. He offered to remove her but she declined for us all – we’d be moving into the cabin soon for our gourmet dinner.
She totally ignored Mrs. Walter even though Mrs. Walter said she did not sneak past security but Liz, who had the floor, totally ignored her and told about this poor old lady who got kicked out of a party for farting too much.
Madam W stood up and thanked Liz reminding her. She told Blackmama she needed to use the restroom. Blackmama asked if she would need her hemorrhoid stuff. Madam W said not this time.
Mrs. Walter was surprised Madam W let ‘her’ use the same bathroom. Madam W stopped and with a look of disgust asked Mrs. Walter how else would she get her ass wiped.
She did a harump and walked away. I excused myself and followed them to the pool bathroom. When I opened the door laughter stopped immediately until they saw me.
Then we all lost it. Blackmama asked if she fired and before I could answer Madam W told her she had a job for her and she would not have to supply the toilet paper.
Liz came in and said that Mrs. Walter was wondering where her section was. She could not think of anything so she told her she would go ask.
Blackmama said she would handle it and asked Liz to help her. By the time Madam W and I had composed ourselves and made our way back to Mrs. Walters, Liz told her to go to the orange fence then turn right and follow it to the end.
Blackmama gave her about two minutes then followed her. Liz grabbed a video camera and ran to the second deck – she yelled that the old fart was headed for the porta-potties.
Blackmama came back after about 5 minutes with a big smile on her face.
Liz came downstairs and was upset she was only able to get a little audio but not much. A tree blocked her view. Liz said Blackmama used so many fifteen dollar words she was sure Mrs. Walters missed the whole point.
Blackmama told her that’s why she gave Mrs. Walters a dictionary so that she could look up the words.
A few minutes later we heard Mrs. Walters complaining to Pops that someone’s slave had been extremely rude and needed to be punished.
We girls ran to see what would happen next. Blackmama rounded the corner and Mrs. Walters pointed her out. Pops looked at Mrs. Walters, the sheriff and mayor then motioned Mrs. Walters over to the fence.
He bent towards her and apologized that he would be not be able to solve her problem. As a matter of fact, after careful consideration and discussion – we all watched Mrs. Walters assume her position of authority – Pops was very happy to give her the following message. She smiled and seemed to grow even taller.
None of us had any idea what was coming. Pops indicated everyone around him and told Mrs. Walters that we had all reached the same decision and agreed that she could go fuck herself.
Blackmama and Madam W lost it. Liz sat down on the floor. Momtoo grabbed her crotch and ran for the bathroom. Mom watched Mrs. Walters and asked if she needed some Depends or an ambulance.
Mrs. Walters, red in the face, waddled towards the exit. Blackmama commented that the little people had to use the service entrance on the side. A guard directed Mrs. Walters towards the side of the cabin.
Pops asked what started it all. Madam W said Mrs. Walters commented on all the undesirables at the party and wondered how Pops and his family could be friends with such ‘people’ especially when they had so many dark friends.
I later found out the pill was a sugar pill and the drink was watered tea with an extreme amount of lemon.
Mom was glad we would not see her again and was sure if she did show up they would only have to let it be known that Madam W was on the way.
The rest of the evening was spent listening to Madam W telling her stories. It was a great time. At one point she had an audience of about seventy in the great room.
Mom told her she had a standing invitation – just give her an hour’s notice so that she could hide the silver.
Madam W said she was too late.
Blackmama said she had taught her everything she knew.
We had a great time.
The Rehersal Dinner – Oct 11 2008 by Dani
Posted at 6:24 PMWhen my people put on a wedding, you have to rename it – was it a wedding inside of a party? Some kind of ball? A fall festival? A celebration? A bash? A gala? A coming out party?
You should have seen the teens decked out (is that right? Pops term) for the wedding – my goodness they looked like young ladies in their twenties and for once they acted like it. We were so proud of them.
I know – we’ll call it an ‘informal do’.
(Thanks Google and Answers.com).
The ‘do’ started last night.
We had a hell of a party last night at the rehersal dinner. Pops had security here last night and they estimated a crowd of five hundred.
A quick explanation – in the fall Pops extends an open invitation to the community to celebrate many things. Usually we have hot dogs, chips, pork & beans, a big bon fire, and beer and a band and dancing –usually country. Some people call it the fall festival but this year was a different theme. It was a feast.
All you needed to know was Moms middle name. Pops changes it for each party. He tells the people at the bar, at Lucy’s restaurant and the mayor and sheriff of the local village. The rest of it is word of mouth. If you don’t know it, you can not get on the bus and you only get one chance.
Visitors MUST be on their best behavior. Use the word fuck in front of a lady and Cheese will throw your ass in the river. No kidding. Don’t like something – better not complain or you will be told how to resolve that complaint and it involves walking back to town with your head up your ass.
All kids are welcome but the adults can not act like kids – unless they are cute AND good kids.
Everything is outside – admittance to the cabin requires a background check and one of us accompanying your every move.
This year, fences were setup preventing people access to the wedding tents, the boat house and cabin proper.
You can not drive here – the road is closed except to people who live somewhere on the road. To come to the ‘do’ you park at the Wal-Mart and catch a shuttle bus, if you know the password. When you get back to Wal-Mart someone will make sure you are sober enough to drive and if not, you can sleep for a while on a cot in a tent or take a cab or call a friend.
This year, we had two sets of shuttle buses. The wedding party and the village party. We had a few confused people last night but Cheese had one of his people at each venue to make sure every got where they belonged.
The year we celebrated many things – Pops made a list and Moms added a few things and some of us added personal things to the lists in the house. B and gB were embarrassed by some but gB added getting boobs to the bottom with a smile and blush – Pops changed it to BIG boobs. He does have his fun.
The list? In another post called Celebrations.
The party ended at 2 am when the beer ran out. All of the wedding guests had left by then –Stubby, Pops and Captain stayed up to party with them and make sure everyone left.
All the rest of us in the cabin were in bed by midnight. You see, we had a wedding this morning.
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